Too much month at the end of the money

So tonight I had the first set of two MRI’s on my arms.  Despite the MRI being one of the open ones, I found myself feeling claustrophobic…  I’m lying on a table, the machine is making my bra move of its own accord – MRI’s REALLY like underwire foundations – and the machine is loud enough that I have to wear sound-blocking headphones.

MRI’s on forearms are unpleasant for EVERYONE.  You have to lie down on the table all the way to one side or another with your arm palm up.  No big deal, right?  WRONG.  In positioning your arm that way, your elbow locks.  And it seems to go on FOREVER.  The sound of the machine keeps you from distracting yourself from the fact that you’ve got a huge machine not even six inches from your chest in breath sucking pain.  Yeah, the arms are bugging the hell outta me.  Enough that the only time the braces are off is when I’m typing or doing REALLY messy cleaning.

I hate the long months… 5 weeks in January, five weeks to stretch an allotment that barely makes three and a half.  This two households stuff is really so so old.  I hate it.  It makes me really mad at everyone that D serves with that should’ve helped him but instead giggled behind his back (I swear that’s what they did.  Really.  I know that they did.  Jackasses.  Add a few other choice blue-faced obscenities…) as he slowly descended into depression and border-line alcoholism.  Jerks.  Makes me thankful for his friends, L & I, who basically made him detox on their couch and don’t let him isolate himself.

Tonight I tried to teach the little kids how to play Jenga®.  Marion freaked out, yelling “I don’t wanna lose, Momma!  If I lose I will be saaaaaaaaaaaad!”  Oh and best of all?  Both little kids have started saying “I hate…”  Hate is a word that’s one of my peeves.  It’s a wild peeve, as opposed to a pet.  Huge, ugly, ill-mannered, and most definitely not fit for company.

Sigh.  Even less time till he’s here with us again.  Wow.  I just can’t fit my mind around it.  The other half of the parenting team back where he belongs; G-ds I really hope that the acclimation process is as painless as possible.